After being officially rejected by the producers of The Biggest Loser this week (my god, first time I wasn't fat enough?!) I am staring down the barrel of Plan B. Which, when you think about it, was really Plan A as attempting to lose weight competitively, against metabolically-enhanced men, on the other side of the country from my friends and family was not really a plan. Maybe a pipe dream or another crazy Gemini scheme... Either way, Plan B is here. It's now. It's like totally you.
Tuesday Sept 4 I am booked in to a seminar at Mercy Bariatrics with Jon Armstrong - who will hopefully become the man of my dreams when he pokes holes in me with a scalpel, inserts various tubes and instruments, leaving me with a dramatically reduced stomach and (hopefully) a brand new life. I really need to think about something other than food. I really need to get free of constantly wondering what my next meal, snack or binge will be. I've been hungry for my whole goddamn life and IT'S MAKING ME TIRED. I feel like a broken record... like Kramer from that episode of Seinfeld where he repeats the line from that movie over and over "these pretzels are making me thirsty!". These pretzels (chips, chocs, burgers, pizzas) are making me tired.
I have spent the better part of the last week ravenously searching the net for blogs, links, sites and references about the miracle that is the Lap Band. I've downloaded the forms to apply for early release of my superannuation to pay for the magic silicone circle, as I am not privately health covered and seriously doubt that I have 12 months to wait. The situation is drastic. And I am a person prone to exaggeration but this time I am NOT exaggerating. I am 170cm tall and weigh more than 170 kg - I don't know exactly how much as I can't find scales to weigh me. Since the age of 12 I have lost about 80 kilos and regained 150kg, my stretch marks have stretch marks and I can barely tie my shoes. Size 26s are tight and uncomfortable, and there just aren't a lot of options in sizes larger than that. I can't walk more than 500m, or climb more than 2 stairs, without puffing. I can't freaking breathe, and let's face it, breathing is kind of an essential...
I want to keep track of this journey, every step of the way, and thought I should start a blog. Just in case other people out there are contemplating the Band and are hoping to make connections, find information, etc, etc. I know it's going to be a long journey, and it will be hard some of the time. But this really is the Last Chance Saloon. So pull up a bar stool and sip a diet cordial with me...
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2 comments:
Hi Lil,
I am yet to be banded too, but it is getting closer now. I am booked in at the Avenue in Melbourne on the 4th Oct. Well done in making the decision & in setting up the blog. I look forward to keeping up with what you're up to. I may even go as far as a diet coke whilst I'm reading!
- Kathy
I know just what a monumentos decision it is to have the band and for me it wasnt a case of deciding and then being really excited for me I decided then freaked out on and off until 04/09 when i finally had it done. I nearly backed out numerous times including the evening before surgery. The journey up until surgery had been heaps harder than the surgery itself which was kinda a breeze in comparisim (sp). Onwards and upwards I say! xx
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