Six Weeks - Hypnosis and the Hypothalamus

I've been on my new lifestyle plan for six weeks now, and this week I weighed in at 134.4 kg - close enough to ten kilos lost! I'm happy with that, although I know I could have achieved more had I decided to do some exercise...


Somehow I have to get the energy up to start using the treadmill and bike. Gorgeous Jon (my weight loss surgeon) has referred me to a haematologist for an iron infusion as my iron levels are still very low. Hopefully that will hake place in the next month or so and it should have an instant effect. It entails sitting in hospital all day attached to a drip so it sounds pretty boring - but man, will it be worth it if I can get my iron levels up. The oral supplement has done bugger all.


Six weeks complete means I am halfway through the Optifast Intensive Phase and can start introducing protein in another six weeks. I see the dietician in a couple of weeks and depending on what she says, I may finish Intensive earlier. I need more energy and without red meat I am struggling. I think if I have my Optifast, two cups of vegies and one lot of protein every day I will still be well under 1500 calories and therefore should still lose weight. I record my food every day on Calorie King.com and they recommend I have 2000 calories every day (obviously a LOT more than Optifast and vegies).


I saw Beverly a couple of weeks ago - she is the NLP/hypnosis specialist. She was awesome, and really helpful, and I feel like I am getting my binge eating and screwy attitude towards food under control. She gave me a self-hypnosis CD that I've been listening to at night, which is aimed at resetting the hypothalamus and it's registering of when I am hungry. Apparently it gets put out of whack by regular binge eating and eating when not hungry (emotional eating, etc). I need to start listening to my body and eating at the proper meal times rather than just pigging out whenever I feel like it.


Overall, I am feeling confident that I can continue losing weight. I have only been doing 10 - 30 mins of medium pace walking every weekday (to and from the bus stop), and I know I can do more than that.


My 1st goal is to lose 24kg by the end of September (the end of the Intensive Phase).

Sucky Scales

I don't know how many times I've been told to NOT weigh myself more than once a week. But it's hard to resist. I wish I hadn't weighed myself yesterday afternoon as the scales said not only had I not lost more weight, but I had gained! So I had a bit of a hissy fit. "Let's make pancakes" I say to Neil (boyfriend). "No, babe," he replies. I sulked a while and eventually went to bed, hoping that when I do weigh in (have decided Saturday will be the day) I will get good news.

I started stressing out about the scales, which are Neil's. How old are they? Do they work? I've never used them before now. Maybe they're not accurate, and if that's true how on earth will I cope?? It's all about the numbers. It takes such a long time to lose enough weight to notice in clothes, so there's no point in trying to fit into my jeans. I need to buy a tape measure and start measuring my vitals. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow so I will ask him to weigh me (if his scales will fit me, the last doctor I went to only weighed up to 130kg!)

One of my plans for the weekend is to start writing down some goals and rewards. I figure saving $15 a day at the work canteen can be put towards some 5kg rewards (-: Not to mention all the money I'll save not getting McDonalds on the way home...

I was thinking about my sleeve this morning (the vertical sleeve gastrectomy is the weight loss surgery I had in October 2007). If I look at how I sabotaged it, mostly its in terms of McDonalds. Started out with a tiny cheeseburger, and I could barely finish it. But then, next time added a small fries and if I ate slowly, wow I could fit it all in. Then on to a double cheeseburger. Then add a medium fries. Even though I was told by my surgeon to not drink while I was eating, I added a small coke. Low and behold, the sleeve is sabotaged. I stretched it slowly, surely, over time until I could eat what I wanted. Add to that my terrible food choices for snacks and meals, and no wonder I've regained 25 kilos (50 plus pounds).

I'm so damn ANGRY at myself, even though I know there's no point. Even when I read my blog when I was still losing a little bit of weight, I was snacking on chips and chocolate - just cause I could. I didn't address any of the emotional issues I had around eating, so as soon as things got hard I turned to food for comfort.

I have to keep telling myself that it took many, many years to put on 100kg (200 plus pounds) of extra fat. So if it takes me ten years to lose it, then that's okay. That's fine. Especially because the weight loss is going to come with permanent mental and emotional changes. It has to, because otherwise the fat is just going to come back every time. I know that.

PLANS
To see Gorgeous Jon, my weight loss surgeon, and lay it all on the line for him. See if he thinks I need a bypass, or a sleeve revision.

To make an appointment with a psychologist who specialises in eating disorders and binge eating.

To make an appointment with Beverley, a hypnotherapist who also does neurolinguistic programming and has proven success with binge eating.

To keep on with the Optifast and walking half an hour a day and hopefully start to lose weight!