How To Sabotage A Sleeve - A Cautionary Tale

Breakfast: Bacon & egg muffin
Snack: Mars Bar & Coke
Lunch: Nachos
Snack: Salt & Vinegar chips
Dinner: 4 slices of pizza and 2 pieces of garlic bread (spread out over an hour or so)
Snack: 2 pieces of cake

The above is not a typical day's eating for me, thank heaven, but it could be. These are all things I can eat comfortably (mostly) and eating them last week resulted in my gaining half a kilo. It serves me right ha ha! I know better than that, and although I have many excuses I know that I have to get back on track and start limiting myself again. The minute things get difficult or stressful for me I want to turn to food as a comfort, even in the small doses I can consume now that is a TERRIBLE idea. Not only will it stop or at least slow down my weight loss, it's nutritional suicide ha ha.

I'm sorry I have been out of the loop for a while. Not much has changed, I think I am starting to adjust to non-married life even though I sometimes feel like I have had a limb amputated. Ten years is a long time to have someone in your corner, I really miss it even though I know everything is happening as it should, for a reason, etc, etc.

I am discovering a transferred addiction - clothes shopping! Lately I've spent bucketloads on new clothes, jewellery, getting my hair done...which is out of character for the person I've been over the last ten years. I think being married I became complacent about those kinds of things, and also as I gained more weight I only survived by thinking of myself as invisible. I never really thought about my appearance, and pretended it was that I was happy with how I looked, when in fact it was the exact opposite. I think I considered myself as non-existent in a physical sense... because I was so out of touch with my body and my image. 50 kilos has made a big difference, even though I am still obese and have another 50kg or so to lose. Shopping for size 20-22 is a hell of a lot easier than trying to squeeze into a stretchy size 26. I actually have to put things back on the rack that are too big!!!!!!!!! Bizarre. But nice!

Clothes Maketh The Sleever

One of the things Dr Phil is adamant about in his Seven Keys To Weight Loss Success is that to create a no-fail environment is essential. Naturally, a lot of that pertains to not having junk food in the house, where possible, and avoiding driving home past HJs, etc. But one of the things I didn't do back in 2004 when I lost 30kg on "Dr Phil" was the wardrobe makeover. Dr Phil says that once you've lost weight, you need to chuck out everything that is too big, or too stretchy, and in fact he even says something crazy and damn near lunatic -- we shouldn't have any pants with stretchy waists?????!!!!!!!!!! I definitely get where the man is coming from, because having loose clothes makes it too easy to expand back into them. But you can tell the man is...well...a man! He obviously never suffered from monthly bloating, let alone those HORROR days when every angle shows a stomach twice as large as it was the day before. Definitely need to have SOME give in those waistbands, hey ladies?

But, all kidding aside, I get where the Doc is coming from. I didn't throw out my "fat clothes" last time, which probably saved me some money as I got to wear them again as I gradually grew to fit them again (and then grew out of them, to the extra extra large plus sizes of no return). I'm at the point now where a few things are ridiculously big on me. A couple of dresses are so baggy on the bust that I cause eyes (and nearly my own parts) to pop out when I bend over at work. And I put on a pair of jeans on the weekend, my favourite jeans I couldn't wear for a while there (size 26 was just a bit too tight when I was 170kg), and there is a stupid excess of fabric around the legs! They are big at the waist, but I was thinking I could actually buy a belt for the first time in my life ha ha! But really, the legs are so wide in comparison to my ACTUAL legs that I can hardly wear them. The extra denim rubs and rustles, making an alarming sound as well as feeling rather weird!! So here, perhaps for the final time, are my favourite jeans...
I've had them for so many years, and I don't want to buy any replacements for at least another 40kg or so. Luckily a friend has given me some of her ex-fat clothes (which are size 20, I guess it's all relative!) and I will soon be able to wear them comfortably. I think this week I need to do that closet cleanup and get rid of my size 7XL mens track pants and those gaping dresses.

It will be sad to say goodbye to those old faithful friends, but like everything in life I think you need to make room for new friends and new experiences. I cannot wait to be able to shop in "normal" shops and to have tiny clothes! There will be more room in my luggage next time I go away! I will be able to fit more in the washing machine!

But, big and heavy though you are, I'll miss you my lovely flowered, sequinned Katies 1626 jeans.

Weigh In, and an NSV

Official weight this morning is 142.8kg, meaning this week I am another 1.3kg lighter - whoopee!! 27.2kg gone forever! I love my sleeve! Even an idiot can lose weight this way, lol. I've been walking every day, taking my dog a little further now each morning, but haven't made it to the gym. I really haven't pushed myself too hard with exercise, figure I will need to go harder towards the end (the last 20 or so kilos) and I can ramp it up then.

I went shopping for a pair of jeans on Thursday and ended up in Rockmans -- saw a heavily discounted pair of 3/4 denims with a turn-up cuff thingo, which I loved, but was bummed to see they didn't have anything smaller than a size 22. Thought I needed a 24, maybe still 26 (I was a 28 when I began this journey). Anyway, decided to buy them as they were reduced to $10 down from $60 and I would save them for a while til I fitted into them... you can see where this is going, right?? rflmao

Decided when I got home I would try them on to see how far I had to go before they fitted, and they fitted me! Four sizes smaller than my previous size! Wow. Mind-blowing moment. They are a little tight, but nothing dramatic, and they look ace. I love them!! I really don't want to buy too many clothes for my "in-between" sizes, but I guess I can always pass them along to someone else. I caught up with my best friend yesterday, who has recently lost 35kg the old-fashioned way (walking, dieting), and she was almost speechless to see me. We haven't seen each other since I got out of hospital -- it is so wonderful to see people's expressions of pride and joy when they see how well I am doing with the sleeve. Sometimes, as we all know, it's hard to see the accomplishments ourselves...

Hope everyone is doing great on their journey, if I don't see y'all before hand, merry Christmas!! Eat well, be peaceful and hope all our dreams come true in '08.

Love, Lil xxxx