OF COURSE, I realise that the gastric sleeve is only a weight loss tool, not the entire solution. But really, I hoped that willpower was a thing of the past (cause I patently DON'T HAVE ANY).
Now I am trying really really hard to stick to 3 meals a day, with a light and healthy morning and afternoon snack if I can't manage without one. Jeez, it is HARD, now I know that I can leave the rest of my meal for half an hour and then come back and finish it. Especially when it's something nice. If I over eat, I end up feeling bloated and pathetic, just like I did before the T4, except it's worse now because I also feel guilty for how much money the surgery cost, and upset that I am punishing my stomach (which has already been through so much).
Definitely need psychiatric help lol. I've been feeling like my depression medication isn't working very well, too - maybe my metabolism and hormone levels are changing or something?! I'm not suicidal or anything, truly, but I am so damn impatient, I have to remember that I only had the surgery THREE WEEKS AGO and that OF COURSE this is a long-term process and a massive lifestyle adjustment.
To add insult to injury ha ha, I weighed in on Saturday and hadn't lost a gram!!!! If that doesn't serve me right lol.
The main points I am taking away from last week are as follows:
- Stick to a meal plan, and immediately throw away any leftovers when I am full (the 1st time ha ha)
- Eat only at the table, not in front of TV
- I may take a while to get back to full strength, and won't pressure myself to go back to the gym or exercise if I am exhausted
- White bread is the debbil
- I didn't get to 170kg in a matter of weeks or months, so I won't get down from there quickly.
- The 20-something kilos I've lost are never coming back
Hope everyone's journey is going smoothly - rest assured I am back on track, and determined to have a better and brighter week.