Aaaaargh. Major black hole alert. Have fallen off the pre-surgery Optifast wagon more than once this week, and am determined to get back on track. I've chosen poorly when it comes to food, and more alarmingly, I have binged three times - not as massive as my pre-pre-surgery binges, but just the fact that the urge is still there makes me so angry. Or is it anger that brings on the urge?? I have so many conflicting emotions about this process, even though I know it's the right thing - THE ONLY THING...and I am premenstrual...the combination of factors has really thrown a spanner in the works.
I am determined to be 100% committed to my last week on Optifast - I know it will make the surgery easier, my recovery will be easier, and the shock to my system won't be so severe if I am partly adjusted to NOT eating. Trying really really hard not to get depressed, angry, upset, frustrated cause all those things make me want to binge more... wish I could get part of my brain removed along with part of my stomach (: