Yesterday the scales showed my weight at 125 kg (275 pounds). I have officially lost 45 kilos (close on 100 pounds) since I started this journey back in September 2007, which is halfway to my personal goal of losing 90 kg (198) -- to bring my weight down to 80 kg (175), which for my height of 5 ft 10 is a little above "normal" but somewhere I'd be thrilled to be. My surgeon set the initial goal for me to weigh 100 kg by Christmas 2008, which seemed SO FAR AWAY last September. I never really believed the weight removal would happen so easily, even though statistics and anecdotal evidence (from other sleevers I met) suggested that I would reach my goals with no problems.
To say it's happened easily is to somewhat gloss over the puking and the emotional battles, but I guess it's kind of like childbirth ha ha!! My friends say that as soon as you have the baby in your arms you forget about the pain and trauma you went through to get that baby!!!! Most of the time I am psyched about the changes in my life, and positive about what's ahead of me, even when the road gets bumpy. It's all true and real -- which is something I avoided in my life for such a long time, and now I have the confidence and strength to take things in my stride and really go for it. I am doing a lot of emotional/psychological work at the moment (boring I know!!), trying to work out how and why I let myself get to this point in my life, and how I can avoid making the same or similar "detours" (I am trying not to think of them as "mistakes" ha ha!). The familiar "all or nothing" drive to be the absolute best or the absolute worst at everything is ever-present, but I am aiming for the middle ground. I know that I can enjoy living in a "normal" state of mind! My life has been a crazy rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows but now I'm growing up and I no longer need to be the extremes of perfect or pathetic, terrific or tragic...
I think my catch phrase or word of the week is BALANCE.
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Hi Lil
I have stumbled upon your blog and have spent most of last night catching up with your story. I am amazed that so much of our information is the same.
I am 45, 171cm tall and in June 2007 I weighed 171.5 kilos (see, I just beat you LOL). I had lap band surgery on 4 July 2007 and I have not looked back. As of today I weigh 98.4 kilos (thats 73 kilos gone baby!!) with my 12 month anniversary looming. I want / need to loose 92 kilos in total to bring me to a weight of around 80 kilos.
What struck me about your last post was that it was at the halfway point (45 kilos lost) that I truely began to believe that I could do it...that this giant, insurmountable task was actually something that I could do. So congrats for getting there, I know that you will do it.
Some thoughts (because I hope I am not rambling and making you think I am some banding nutter LOL):
Your photos are amazing, your face is just getting prettier and prettier. Your shape is coming back (as is mine) and I am sure you will be spending a small fortune on clothes (as I am!!).
I nodded my head in so many of your posts, so many things the average person who is not 90 - 100 kilos overweight would ever truely understand.
I am awed by your courage to post your journey. I was not quite so bold and have only told my family of my banding. Do I think it is the right decision now...well I wish I had of spoken out and been honest but I was so fearful that I would fail again and that people would not be kind. Oh well, that's life.
I am so very sorry that the personal toll for you has been high. I am very lucky indeed to be supported by a hubby that has never once judged me and he has known me when I was 60 kilos (and I thought I was fat then - ah, the stupidity of youth LOL) and when I was 171 kilos (the last 10 years).
So after all this, I just really wanted to say congrats to all your hard work and that we have similar stories that are going to work out just fine for both of us :)
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