Moving On Up

Okay, so I have spoken to self sternly and am now back on track. Strict week of Optifast before my surgery next week, so far I am suffering a little from the readjustment but nowhere near as difficult as the first time I started Opti six weeks ago. As for the surgery... Yikes - only 6 sleeps to go!! I am occupying myself with lists - what to cook and buy before I go in, what to take with me, what I need to get finished at work before my 2 weeks off. I've bought a portable dvd player on ebay and am hoping to get some quality watching in during my 3/4 day stay at Mercy. Also am filling two mp3 players with meditations, music, etc. Thursday is my clothes shopping day, as I am in desperate need of new underwear!!! Also hope to pick up some cheapish pjs, saw some in the Big W catalogue.

My cheque arrived yesterday from REST, my superannuation company, and it will pretty much cover the rest I need to pay. $14,000 - thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am relieved they didn't withhold any, except for the compulsory 21.5% tax. I've paid for an express clearance on the cheque so I can get bank cheques made up on Thursday - one for the anaesthetist, one for the hospital and one for Gorgeous Jon & Co.

Looks like it's all systems GO, and I will be sleeved by this time next week and no longer hungry - whoopee!

Guardian Angels

Such a lot has happened since my last post I hardly know where to start! Firstly, I've been visited by a guardian angel, Divine Dayle, a fellow lap-sleever who has kindly given me her TENS stockings for my surgery, saving me the cost and time of getting some made. I can't thank her enough - you rock Dayle!! I also feel like having the stockings of a successful lap-sleever (Dayle's procedure was done with Gorgeous Jon in Feb) is a lucky charm. Hooray! I love the way that life brings awesome people into our lives when we most need, and least expect them.

I spent Tuesday afternoon ay Mercy with my "crew" - dietician Laura, bariatric assessor Hemah and exercise physio Sue. They are all fab ladies, with support and advice to burn, and although I was totally knackered by the end of the day I felt even more committed to having the surgery and FINALLY curing my weight problem. Got a bit of a kick in the teeth when I got home and found a letter from my super company saying that they will not be able to release the full amount I need for the surgery - aaargh. I'm going to be 5 - 10 grand short, so I am starting to apply for finance, call in favours and grovel to family members! For a while I thought maybe it's not meant to be, that I should wait 11 months til my Medibank Private membership will pay for it...but honestly, how much heavier will I be by then?? I've been losing weight with Optifast, but truthfully my willpower is waning and without the idea of the surgery in a couple of weeks, I feel like I would slip back.

One way or another I am going to have this procedure done, and start getting my life back. I don't have unreasonable goals, simply to be under 100kg would be a huge relief, and by all accounts it's within reach - WITH THE LAP SLEEVE. Not on my own, with optifast, trying to get my fat ass out of bed to walk every morning, feeling constantly tired and hungry. I can't do that anymore. I just have to find the money. I trust that the universe will provide it somehow, and that come Oct 29th I will paid up and ready to go.

Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prize Winning Calf

Actually "prize" is the wrong word...maybe "record-breaking calf" is a better description! Called to organize my TENS compression stockings with the Medical Supplies place this morning with my ankle and calf measurements and LITERALLY the guy was struck dumb, and then went "oh" in a tiny voice, before putting his hand over the phone and muttering to a manager or someone for a while...he eventually came back on and said "Are you sure those measurements are correct?" and when I said yes, he informed me that the biggest size they had would be too small and some special ones would have to be made!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god. It takes a lot to embarrass me, I'm kind of used to being the biggest person in the room, etc, etc, but when a MEDICAL SUPPLIES place freaks out about your size, well, it's kind of demoralising! AND, because I can't buy them ready made they will cost around $250 - which I know, I know, is definitely better than carking it from a DVT.

But still!!

The most annoying thing is, I'll only wear them once as I NEVER intend to have shock-worthy, record-breaking calves ever again. So tomorrow, with my three hospital appointments and my stocking purchase I will be down almost $2000. Ouch. But it is the best investment I'll ever make, I'm sure of it. In a few months I will be saying "Worth every cent, even those damn stockings".

Weight and Measurements

Weighed in this morning, a day early due to the fact that I am staying at a friend's place tonight so will be away from my scales tomorrow. I've lost 1.5kg in the week, which is not enough, and a little disappointing, but IT IS BETTER THAN A GAIN!

So my weight stands now at 158.7kg

Took some measurements today, it being a month since I began Optifast. Didn't take them at the start (doh), but will measure myself every month from now on, to supplement the kilos lost. My measurements are:

• Neck - 39cm
• Bust - 145cm
• Waist - 132cm
• Hip - 161cm
• Thigh - 84cm
• Calf - 64cm

I talked to the pre-admission nurse today, who asked me for my calf measurements - apparently they are so large that the hospital doesn't carry TENS stockings big enough and I have to purchase them privately (another $100)!! Next week I have my assessment day, where I see the dietician, bariatric assessor and the exercise physiologist - and that day I need to pay $1500. After that is the big one, when on surgery day Oct 29 I need to pay $17,000 approx upfront. Obviously you can't carry that around in cash he he... I guess I will need to organise a bank cheque (note to self - ask Clinic next week).

I am alternating between being petrified/nauseous and excited/psyched. I think this month is going to pass by in a blur of adrenalin.